My marriage failed. I failed my marriage. I could say it a million different ways but in all reality it all comes down to the same results.
I was nineteen when we met. We were married by the time I was twenty-one.
We got married in May. We moved into our first home together with my son from a previous relationship and ended up having our first son together in December.
It was fast but so exciting.
We were both young and in our first serious relationship. We were polar opposites.
Public Service Announcement!
Opposites DO NOT attract.
I won’t speak illy of him because he is a wonderful dad. I had toxic traits and I was full of resentment. I’ve come to realize that we all have toxic traits.
This has all been a learning process for me. At the end of the day, I’m still adjusting to my new norm. My boys are finding it a lot less hard and we’re making it with the support of family and friends.
I found this book when I really needed reassurance. I needed to know that everything was going to work out in the end.
“Because love doesn’t need to last forever in order to make a lasting impression.
We don’t need to curse and resent and forget the people life didn’t let us hold onto. We don’t have to rid ourselves of their impressions and shelter ourselves from their impact. We’re allowed to let them in. We’re allowed to let them matter.
We’re allowed to engage in the temporary foolishness of falling for someone who is not going to be left holding our crippled, wrinkled hand fifty years down the road.
Because some people simply are not meant to stay forever. Some people come into our lives for a season, for a reason, for the simple purpose of showing us the world in a way we would never have seen it otherwise.
And what else can we do but hold onto these people while we have them?”
We didn’t end up together in the end. There was too much damage done. There are still days when I walk in our old house to get the boys that I have to stop and gather myself. It still isn’t always easy but I know that in the end, I am lucky to have a civil relationship with the father of my boys. We co-parent the best we know how, and he still helps me as needed.
So good things do come out of temporary people.
Other great books that have inspired me through hard times.